*I have this character rolling around in my head. I’m trying to get other things out, Fundy Bay Book 2 most importantly, so it’s hard to have this little voice poking up, wanting to be heard. But she’s here. Quiet, but insistent. I don’t know her story. I don’t even know if she’s in the same world as the Pack. She wants out, though, so I’m going to take time when I can and write down what she says and share it with you all. She’s happy with that. For now.*
It’s hard to pick out the one threat you should pay attention to when you have PTSD and you’re an empath. Your walls are down, or if you’re me, they never developed properly in the first place. I was so young when it happened. And people don’t believe in empaths these days. So I can see monsters everywhere and no one listens to me.
Most of the monsters don’t pay me much attention. My instincts are to hide. Always have been. If that doesn’t work, I freeze. And I was broken a long time ago. As prey, I’m not much fun. Nor am I important. Monsters have busy lives. Why bother with something so inconsequential as me? Mostly I’m left alone, so it’s a giant pain in the ass to see threats all…the…time. Hyper-vigilant, the outpatient therapist called it.
I hugged the wall, kept my head down and tried not to attract any attention.
I don’t know if it’s my PTSD or not, but lately it’s been too. much. noise. So much stimulation, my vision swims and I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and swivel to face the next thing coming at me. Too much advice books, too many shoulds, too many news stories that upset, too many unkind … things/people/words. I take everything to heart. It’s the way I’m wired. It feels like a storm in my head.
Plenty of shade, beautiful sky and quiet but interesting neighbors. What do you think?
It’s here, it’s here, it’s here! Excuse me while I curl into a shivering ball in the corner.
For those of you who don’t know, I have an anxiety disorder. I am on meds, which help, and seeing a therapist (huge help). But sometimes, it just isn’t enough. So, I am trying to add a regular meditation routine to my lineup. I am going to try a few, but the one I’m starting with is guided (because I don’t know what I’m doing, really), free, and available online (so…anywhere, really).
I am going to record my results after one week, two weeks and at then end of March madness. If you’re interested in the one I’ll be using, you can follow the link below and follow along with me. It’s an interesting experiment, as of right now. Here I go.
Planners are like porn to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the thought that there’s hope that a plan will work.
This lady is kooky. And brilliant. Gets right to the heart of my self-sabotage and puts the kibosh on it.
Her website is golden. And yes, I love her stuff so much I signed up to be an affiliate. If you buy some of her stuff when you click on this link I get some moolah. But trust me, it will only be to buy more of her stuff. I’m dying to be a member of her academy, but I just can’t afford it yet.
here’s her bio, and I know she’s not for everyone, but for me she works…
Leonie Dawson is a mentor to women wanting to create + grow massively successful and heart-centered creative + soulful businesses. She is also an author, retreat leader, visual artist, mama and guide for the tens of thousands who receive her free “SHINING BIZ + LIFE” eZine each week.
Leonie has taught alongside such luminaries as Arielle Ford, Julia Cameron, Gay Hendricks and SARK. She has coached tens of thousands of women to create their own incredible lives and businesses including crystal healers, celebrities, coaches, best-selling authors, award-winning singers, fitness experts, yoga teachers, artists and multiple-six-figure entrepreneurs.
Her strategic musings and practical wisdom have been featured on Problogger, Tiny Buddha, magazines like Spellcraft, Life Images, Goddess and Spheres, and in three of SARK’s best-selling books on creative fulfillment & freedom.
Purposeful, passionate & unendingly prolific, Leonie published her first book at 22, held her first solo art exhibition at 23, began leading women’s circles the same year, created her first retreat at 25, launched the Goddess Circle — a subscription-based women’s art, soul + biz community — at 27, and has guided thousands of women through transformational biz & life experiences over the past 4 years. She’s also released 5 e-courses — including her signature workshops for entrepreneurs, the Become A Business Goddess program and the Double Your Biz Intensive — 4 meditation kits and 2 bestselling Biz & Life workbooks (out every year) into the digital ether. Her latest book “73 Lessons Every Goddess Must Know” shot to the top of the Amazon bestseller list.
In the process, she has created a thriving company that has generated millions and helps thousands of women every single year. Her mission is to help as many earth angels – women with creative or spiritual gifts – as possible to have profoundly profitable businesses so they may nourish themselves and heal the world.
Previously, Leonie has worked as editor of the Australian Government’s business website business.gov.au which garnered a United Nations award during her time there. She has also previously worked in Minister’s Offices at Parliament House and as a legal secretary. Leonie was formerly a top-achieving economics + art history student at Australian National University before dropping out to become a successful artist.
Leonie has walked labyrinths in the moonlight, wept atop mountains in the middle of a storm, danced with a baby in an old cow shed as a Filipino tribal chief sang, and once married herself in a public commitment ceremony — witnessed by goddess maidens of honor that she’d met on the Internet.
Best-selling author of “Succulent Wild Woman” SARK has called Leonie “a gifted goddess and illuminated creator. I happily recommend her and her lilting work.” Hay House author of “Oracle Tarot”, Lucy Cavendish has said “Leonie Dawson is an amazing artist and spiritual teacher. She’s inspiring, wise, kind and oh-so-talented.”
Ok. So I might have a wee bit of a need to get my s*** organized. I admit I have a problem with it. The piles of paper wind up in boxes and the boxes get piled up and…yeah. You see where I am going with this.
Every year I start out with the best of intentions and every year it seems to get away from me. This year I think I found my way. It’s not too ridged so I can adapt, make it my own but it’s structured enough that I don’t get lost out in La la land. Plus, and may I say this is more of a necessity for me than a bonus, it’s pretty.
And the woman who sells them? Yeah, she’s my kind of weird.
I love love love her stuff. In the spirit of full disclosure, if you click on this link and wind up buying something, I’ll be able to buy more of her stuff (affiliate I am). But I am using BOTH her workbooks, and her planner. I’ll give a video review where I discuss why these are so great for writers later in the month. But please, check out her stuff.
My 9th grade English teacher always made fun of the fact I played bass in the school band. Wanted me to play ‘Dueling Banjos’ for him. I always responded with the song above.
It seems appropriate today. I’m hard at work on proofs for High Tide at Harvest Moon, which is slated for release on March 15th. There’s also the first draft of Dark Moon Thunder, book two in the Fundy Bay Pack series to work on. It’s due to my lovely editors, Donna Alward and Nancy Cassidy soon too. Getting excited for release day.
No matter which religion you do or do not practice, may this season be restful, joyous, filled with love and happiness!